Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
