Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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