By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have fence marks all over my body
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
