I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
