I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
