you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I deserve this hangover.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
