Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
