areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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