Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
