Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
