I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Jerry, you need to find god
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
