There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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