This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize