I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
