D3 body, D1 cock
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
