I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The uberlube is also flammable
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
