I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
honey bunches of taint.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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