5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have aggressive nipples.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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