I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
