We're like a lot better than the average bears
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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