bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
