no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
