just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
