I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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