The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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