I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
