I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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