Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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