: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
