Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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