So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
