I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He did a backflip because drugs
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
