I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
