Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
