last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
