It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
