Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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