I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it's like iHOP with fire
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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