Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
