You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
