if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
