Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
