ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
