too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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