haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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