HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
