My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
