I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize