Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
