i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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