I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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