i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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