I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
