BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
