is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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