she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
