So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
