So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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